English Flavor
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June, 2009
Much Worse
Much Worse Policeman: Why didn’t you shout for help when you were robbed of your watch? Man: If I had opened my mouth, they’d have found my four gold teeth. That would be much worse. 中文： 警察：有人抢你的手表时，你为什么不呼救呢？ 男子：要是我张口的话，他们就会发现我的四颗金牙。那就更糟了。
Tags: much worse
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Talking clock
While proudly showing off his new apartment to friends, a college student led the way into the den. “What is the big brass gong and hammer for?” one of his friends asked. “That is the talking clock,” the man replied. “How’s it work?” ”Watch,” the man said and proceeded to give the gong an ear [...]
Tags: talking clock
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Psychiatrist
Jerry went to a psychiatrist. “Doc,” he said, “I’ve got trouble. Every time I get into bed, I think there’s somebody under it. I’m going crazy!” Just put yourself in my hands for one year,” said the shrink. “Come to me three times a week, and I’ll cure your fears.” “How much do you charge?” [...]
Tags: Psychiatrist
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Two Lines In Heaven
Everybody on earth dies and goes to heaven. God comes and says “I want the men to make two lines. One line for the men that dominated their women on earth and the other line for the men that were whipped by their women. Also, I want all the women to go with St Peter.” [...]
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Farewell, Indifference
Who was the most well-known figure in China last month? It’s Ma JiaJue—the college student who murdered 4 of his roommates. Many people attributed his crime to his poverty and deficient education. In my opinion, his crime also has much to do with his classmates’ indifference. Indifference is a terrible disease in today’s colleges and [...]
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Hold Fast To Your Dreams
I have a dream today. I have a dream that one day every vally shall be exalted, every hill and mountain shall be made low, the rough places will be made plain, and the crooked places will be made straight, and the glory of the Lord shall be revealed, and all flesh shall see it [...]
Tags: dreams
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Beggars Today
Beggars are one of the most familiar groups in every city. They accompany us from our childhood until now, and I’ve found both the beggars and I change in this journey. Years ago as a little girl, when I came across some old and disabled beggars on the road, I’d donate some pocket money to [...]
Tags: Beggars
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No One Can Be Perfect
Good morning, ladies and gentlemen. Today I want to tell you a story about one of my friends, a lovely and smart girl who is always ready to help others. Being our grade leader, she is good at both work and study. In many people’s opinion, she is excellent and perfect. But one day she [...]
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Money is not a panacea
Needless to say, money is not very important, but very very important. If there is no money, I can’t use this microphone to speak to you and we can’t have such a room to hold such a competition. Without money, we can’t study in such a schoolyard. Without money, we can’t live in such a [...]
Tags: money
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I Wandered Lonely as a Cloud
I wandered lonely as a cloud That floats on high o’er vales and hills, When all at once I saw a crowd, A host, of golden daffodils; Beside the lake, beneath the trees, Fluttering and dancing in the breeze. Continuous as the stars that shine And twinkle on the milky way, They stretched in [...]
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